My Head

Jesus, my head. It's all cars with us, especially on a bike. I caused an accident yesterday on mine. And then I got the hell out of there! Just kidding, tee-hee. Sometimes, on a bike, you sit at an intersection watching cars zip by on the cross street, but you probably aren't tripping the road sensors to get the light to change in your favor. While I truly do not like going from road to sidewalk to road to sidewalk, because it causes some uncertainty in the traffic flow, I occasionally have to hop up to the corner and push the walk button. This I did yesterday morning. When the first car saw it, he recognized it as an indication that he should stop. The second car saw things differently, more as an opportunity to see what those anti-lock brakes are really all about. There's a reason they don't call them anti-bad-judgment, or anti-not-watching-what-in-the-hell-I-am-doing. Some things our engineers simply cannot design out of the human condition.

I pedaled over to check on them, and braced myself against the barrage of accusations that I was sure would come. A full minute later and neither of them had gotten out of their cars or rolled down a window. What's more, nobody else had stopped to get out and offer help. "Off to work, can't be bothered. It's the economy, you know? Don't want to lose my job over this. Besides, that guy in the goofy helmet looks like he has this covered. Now, if only they would move those wrecked cars OUT OF MY WAY!"

Alas, they were moving around, digging for insurance cards, most likely, and appeared to be fine. Still, you don't just get on with your day with an assumption of fineness. You have to be sure, don't you? I knocked on the first window, put on my best inquisitive-under-a-bike-helmet face, and made the "OK" sign. "Sure, sure," said the North-South head nod and thumbs-up. I move to the second car and go through the same knock and play charades routine. "Sure, sure," said the head nod. But the waving hand said something more like "get the hell out of here, asshole. This is your fault. It's 6:30 AM and it's raining. You should be in a car." Like that would have kept her from driving too fast downhill on a wet road. Have a pleasant morning, lady. I toddled off to work with the most important thing in my or any other world: My Own Clear Conscience.

Which brings me back to my head. It's a mess. I'm smack in the middle of a good run of wondering what in the hell to do with my life, drinking too much, and having too much to do. Then I watch a car accident yesterday, and my wife goes out this morning to find her car was broken into last night. In as much as "broken into" is synonymous with "I think I left it unlocked." Ahh, life in the city. It was a one-off sort of getting home last night for her, with some groceries coming in and one of those "I think there's another bag out there still, can you go and get it please?" And that's all the break in the routine it takes to forget to lock it up. Nothing important missing, because she leaves nothing important in there. Also, no damage done, which is always a relief. When I was a young punk, I had more of an interest in breaking things than stealing things. I'm not sure what parental influences inform those sorts of tendencies, but the ones I received said "break that" instead of "take that." So in a way it surprises me that the thugs who rifled through her car didn't at least take a chance to tear off the glove box door or run a knife through a seat. All they really got was a parking pass that they'll never know where to use, and the satisfaction of making a little mess.

She checked my car ((You know, the really, really cool one, (The Other) Andy))- nothing disturbed, nothing broken. "Well of course not, sweetie. It was locked." Wrong thing to say #1 for today. Tread lightly, and use your head.